Buy coffee online and look forward to mail-ordered joy (minus any caffeine)

Ground or Whole Bean: A Delicious New Decaf

Ooooh malt loaf… Warm from the oven and sticky with dried fruit. Irresistible, right?

But pair it with chocolate and Pink Lady crunch, and you’ve taken it to another level!

Well, good news, folks. No need to get baking or apple-picking of chocolate-buying* today! Just treat yourself to a bag of How Long IS A Piece of String?, our malt loaf-inspired decaf coffee beans!

Check it out!

*Maybe still do this bit. Always a reason for choccy… 😋

Behind the Scenes of Your Decaf Coffee Beans

Ooooh that heading rhymes! I’m a poet and I didn’t know it!

But, to the coffee. We source your How Long IS A Piece of String? coffee from seven small farmers in the southwest Colombian department of Huila. This is Colombia’s best coffee-growing region. It’s high altitudes and cool, temperate climate are ideal for arabica plants as they slow down the growing process to give us beans that are sweet, balanced and utterly delicious.

Huila wins top spot as the largest coffee-producing region in Colombia. Most of Huila’s speciality coffee grows on mountain-scattered farms, generally smaller than 5 hectares each. These scrummy decaf coffee beans are grown by farmers in the Acevedo, Palestina, Pitalito and Timana areas of Hulia. Fancy meeting the farmers? Say hello to Don Gabriel Castana and Jeferson Castaño Motta in Acevedo and Duverney Sanchez in Pitalito!

Hola! 👋

Colombian Coffee Beans

Coffee is big in Colombia.

• Serious fact to prove the above statement: by 1912, coffee made up about half of Colombia’s total exports
• Fun fact to prove the above statement: there’s a theme park in Colombia dedicated entirely to coffee! Really! It’s called the Parque del Café (Coffee Park) and you can find it in the Quindío department. And we really, really want to go!

So, what makes Colombian coffee beans so special? The country’s geography is a big factor. The Andean mountains provide rich soil and high elevations (great for growing coffee), while moderate rainfall keeps the plants nice and healthy. The high altitude bit is really important, as this treats the coffee trees to cooler temperatures and allows the cherries to ripen more slowly. The result? Full-flavoured, naturally sweet coffee you’ll love!

Sugarcane Decaf Coffee Beans

Craving tasty decaf? Not the dull stuff that barely tastes of coffee. Then you need speciality decaf! Nothing else cuts the mustard.

Unlike instant decafs, which supermarkets often decaffeinate using chemical methods, your How Long IS A Piece of String? coffee is a sugar cane decaf. This method is nice and gentle (no excess heat or pressure, ya see), so doesn’t alter the cell structure of your precious beans.

Sugar cane is another big-business crop in Colombia. The sugar cane process distils a natural extract from the sugar cane crop and combines it with acetic acid (or vinegar, to you and me!).

Decaf specialists carefully steam the unroasted beans before rinsing them in the natural sugar cane solution. This solution is basically a magic potion, dissolving the caffeine while leaving the rest of the bean’s cell structure intact. A splish-splash water wash comes next, before the producers partially dry the beans to 10-12% humidity levels.

And, voila, crazily full-flavoured decaf coffee just for you!

Put top quality decaf on tap with a bespoke Decaf Subscription!

Decaf Ground Coffee or Whole Beans: It’s Up to You!

Is it decaf ground coffee you’re after? Or decaf coffee beans? Top news! You can buy either in a jiffy at Two Chimps! Whether it’s ground or whole bean, your malt loaf decaf will always be freshly roasted by head roaster/chimp/coffee dude, Andy. We roast by hand throughout the week to guarantee fresh decaf coffee for every brew. Ordered ground decaf? Our team grind to order just hours before sending your bag on its way. No pre-packed nonsense here, no siree.

Make that coffee tin smile! Buy coffee online today!

Let's go!

What’s Up with the Name?

So, you’re on your coffee break, and you start wondering about that piece of string. You know, THAT one – the one people always talk about? Just how long is it?

Hmmmm…

Not the foggiest!

But, crikey, one thing I do know is that this decaf coffee is insanely scrummy!

Get it now!